Lukasmummy
Registered Users
Registered: April 2007
Posts: 67
users gallery
|
Credits: Layered template ({Still} Mixin' It Up, Template 3) and Clearly Inked And Stapled Alpha by Chrissy W and Daddy's Girl and Daddy's Girl Addon by Amy Bleser. Font is DJB Nicole by Darcy Baldwin.
Journalling reads: It amazes me how many times I have cried my eyes out because of my lack of photography skills. It’s always been too easy to assume, I can always take more photos only for something to go wrong. I end up with a few photos that are worth more than gold to me, but as far as scrapbooking is concerned they are almost always useless. I want to be able to make layouts about you all, my brothers and my sisters. I want to see you and hug you. Want to be the only one who ever loved you just like I used to be. I want you to know that your birthdays are still on my calendar same as they always were same as they always will be. When I used to go out more I would find myself looking at girly things in shops that would be perfect for Jade and Keisha, or seeing pokemon cards I know Kyle would love. I wonder how Aidan’s doing with his walking sticks now and his physio. I think about how big Daniel must be now and how much he has to have changed. I hope that Callum isn’t being bullied at school any more. I wish I could see the new baby and hold her wish I could be the only one to ask you all how you are coping with her being around. Sometimes my mind wonders to thinking about you all being left alone while she’s off on another of her endless shopping trips. Do you miss me and Lukas like we miss you? Do you think about us? I considered writing to you all but knew that she would have ripped them up in spite. I couldn’t bear to get any of you in trouble so I remained silent and distant from you. Maybe she’s made you hate me by now, telling you lies like she is so good at, twisting everything little thing and making out like she’s the one in the right even when she never is. She’s always been evil and warped, but you know that as well as I do. I wonder how many days you have had off of school to cover bruises from her vicious temper. How many days have you cried yourself to sleep after she’s screamed, shouted, and swore herself hoarse because she has no cigarettes. Nan saw you Jade and she told me how poorly you looked. How mum is no longer concerned about the clothes any of you wear, she’s too busy revelling in the attention she’s getting over the baby. I hate that you have nobody to protect you anymore now that Gavin and Darren are gone and I am not around. I’m sorry truly sorry that I am missing out on seeing you grow up, and that I am not around for you to rely on and talk to. Will you ever forgive me? So many questions and unfortunately most of them will never get answered will they.I really wish there was a way I could support you and show you how much I still love you all. But for now there isn’t i’ll just keep hoping one day we will find a way for me to make it up to you all. From top to bottom left: Callum, Kyle and Jade. From top to bottom right: Keisha,Aidan and Daniel. Taken at Lukas’s birthday tea party on 5th August 2006.
|
Digital Freebies Forums
